


Sleight of Hand

by Wolveria



Series: Bounty Hunter Blues [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Smut, Bane Being an Asshole, Blow Jobs, Bounty hunter blues, Cad Bane has a Dirty Mouth, Heavy Petting, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm so sorry, Jedi Repressing Their Feelings, M/M, My First Smut, Obi-Wan Needs a Nap, Obi-Wan is Pissed, Or As Many Feelings As Possible Between Two Emotionally-Stunted Jerkwads, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Smut, Virginal Space Monk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-15 22:04:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8074348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolveria/pseuds/Wolveria
Summary: [Sequel to Mending] Obi-Wan's life was returning to something that resembled normalcy after his fateful confrontation with the scrawny bounty hunter known as Cad Bane. Unbeknownst to him, the Duros was far from done with the Jedi, and it plunges him down a path forbidden to those of his Order.





	1. Chapter 1

Obi-Wan Kenobi gazed out at the smattering of stars that seemed to sparkle just beyond the viewing port of the merchant vessel _Delano_. The Jedi was stroking his beard with an inattentive air, his eyes distant as he waited for the return of his former Padawan. He paid no mind to the crew members checking the various status updates of the cargo ship, and they in turn ignored the Jedi. He did not have to wait long as the pressure sealed door behind him opened with a loud hiss.

“The ship is clear, Master,” Anakin Skywalker intoned once he had stepped beside Obi-Wan, brushing sand-colored dust off his sleeves as he did so.

“No hidden assassins or stowaway mercenaries?” Obi-Wan inquired as a smirk played out underneath his ginger-blond beard, raising an eyebrow at the filthy state of his former apprentice.

“Not unless they’re hiding underneath all the grime and dust covering this ship. Their cleaning droid must have a broken motivator,” Anakin remarked with disgust clear on his face, his gloved hands combing through his hair to remove the filth that had accumulated on top. The action only drew a larger grin from the older Jedi.

“I don’t think the Delano _owns_ a maintenance droid. We picked this ship because it’s least likely to be stopped by the Separatists. Dirt and all,” Obi-Wan reminded Anakin as he cast a side-eyed glance in his direction.

“No, _you_ picked this garbage can. _I_ wanted a Corellian corvette that could outrun anything the Seppies could throw at us,” Anakin argued with his characteristic obtuse bluntness. Obi-Wan raised his eyebrow at the use of slang normally used by clones, and he wondered if Anakin had been spending too much time with his troops. “Who needs all this sneaking around when they can’t catch us in the first place?”

“Hence why I am in charge of this mission, and you are not,” the Jedi Master reminded the Jedi Knight. “Speed does not trump caution, especially where Count Dooku is involved. He’s far too clever to be outsmarted by something as simple as a fast ship.”

Obi-Wan could practically hear Anakin roll his eyes, but the only verbal response he received from the Jedi was a grumbling, “Yes, Master.” Obi-Wan placed a hand on Anakin’s shoulder in an offer of sympathy before turning to exit the bridge of the merchant vessel, his former apprentice following close behind.

“How is our diplomat faring the journey so far?” Obi-Wan asked as he turned his head to smile pleasantly toward Anakin, walking alongside him down the corridor through the main body of the ship. He suspected Anakin’s answer would display his annoyance at the politician, and Obi-Wan was not disappointed.

“The _Ambassador_ acts as if he’s never set foot in space before,” Anakin answered, changing his tone in a mock imitation of the politician. “‘When will my meals be brought to me?’ ‘Where are the servant droids?’ ‘Why doesn’t my room have a window?’ If these Phaffits are anything like their representative, I’m beginning to think they’re not worth the trouble.”

“Now, Anakin. It is unkind to speak such things regarding the Republic’s newest ally and trade partner,” Obi-Wan gently chided him, putting forth no real effort to rein in his former Padawan’s difficult attitude. That was a battle lost before it had even begun.

“Why were we placed on babysitting duty, anyway? Because of some rumor that Dooku _might_ have hired an assassin?” Anakin remarked with a dismissive flourish of his gloved hand.

“It was not _some_ rumor – this information came from a very credible source,” Obi-Wan responded firmly, driving the point home for Anakin with his next words. “The Council agreed it was serious enough to warrant our presence, and Chancellor Palpatine agreed.”

Anakin’s demeanor changed almost instantly. His shoulders straightened, his stride became more purposeful, and his tone took on a more serious timbre – all things that most people would miss, but Obi-Wan saw as obvious displays of respect and deference.

“Well. That’s different. Obviously, if the Chancellor wants us here, it’s important.” Obi-Wan knew the invocation of the Chancellor’s name was the surest way to shut down Anakin’s dissention. He did not enjoy silencing Anakin, or using his personal connections to do so, but he had allowed Anakin to doubt the Council far too often. Obi-Wan intended to put a stop to it, especially now that Master and Padawan were once again on speaking terms.

Obi-Wan was fully aware he had to be careful in this endeavor. The Jedi Master had worked tirelessly to rebuild Anakin’s trust after the event he had surreptitiously dubbed “the Hardeen Incident.” As always, when he dwelled on that colossal mess of a mission, his thoughts always turned to one individual:

Cad Bane.

Obi-Wan had been on a diplomatic assignment in Takobo when the bounty hunter had appeared from nowhere and attacked the Jedi Master. After several violent collisions (almost entirely from the Duros’ side), Obi-Wan had come to the slow and painful realization that Bane had also suffered from the Jedi’s duplicitous task.

The bizarre night had ended with Obi-Wan holding a tearful Bane in his arms. Almost as equally surprising, Obi-Wan had let him go without pursuit. The Jedi had even given the bounty hunter money as recompense for the wounds he had been dealt (plus the Duros had looked as if he didn’t have a credit to his name).

True to his word, Obi-Wan had not chased Bane – that night or the days to follow. The Council did not inform him of any prison breaks, and instead of soothing his mind, this instead roused his suspicions. He wondered if Master Yoda knew about his confrontation with Bane, and did not ask him to hunt down the bounty hunter because he did not trust Obi-Wan’s judgement regarding the matter.

But why would Master Yoda believe such a ludicrous idea? Even if he did know about Takobo, whatever strange secession of hostilities had happened that night did not influence the Jedi’s actions now. It had been a… wrinkle in the Jedi’s otherwise pristine record. He intended for nothing like it to ever happen again.

“Do not worry, Anakin. Knowing our luck, this journey will be anything but uneventful,” Obi-Wan reassured the younger Jedi with a grin, and he was warmed to see the smile returned.

“Masters Kenobi and Skywalker,” hailed a deep, assertive voice from behind, and the robed pair stopped their advance to turn towards the source.

“Captain Engle,” Obi-Wan addressed the man with a slight bow of the head, Anakin doing the same.

“We are on schedule and will jump to hyperspace momentarily,” the captain, a short, dark green Rodian assured the two Jedi. “After that, I’m afraid there won’t be much for the two of you to do. You can retreat to your quarters if you like, or patrol the ship as you see fit.”

“Thank you for accommodating us, Captain Engle. We promise not to get in the way of you or your crew,” Obi-Wan replied with his most reassuring smile. The captain nodded, dipped his head in respect to the Jedi, and retreated back to the bridge of the _Delano_.

“Huh. Don’t see Rodian ship commanders very often,” Anakin remarked with a half-smirk as they continued their journey toward the middle of the bulk freighter.

“Yes, well, I’m sure he’s a very adept leader. Freighters of this size take a firm hand to run, and a mutiny in the middle of deep space is every captain’s worst nightmare.”

“What, are you an expert on cargo vessels too?” Anakin ribbed cheerfully, to which Obi-Wan could only shake his head and grin. He hadn’t realized how much he had missed Anakin’s playful teasing until he had been without it. “Why am I not surprised?”

“I merely pay attention to my surroundings. I can see how that would confuse you, my old Padawan,” responded Obi-Wan in an amicable tone.

“Hey, who you calling old? I’m not the one sprouting white hairs at the temples,” Anakin protested loudly, bringing the attention of several crew members as they walked past, causing Obi-Wan to wince.

“Point taken, Anakin. Point taken.” Obi-Wan took that moment to turn down a side corridor, causing Anakin to pause in confusion.

“Master, where are we going? This is the way to the crew’s quarters.”

“And the guest quarters, if you remember.”

“How could I forget? I could barely escape the Ambassador and his many, many opinions on our chosen mode of transportation. But that doesn’t explain-”

“Given that I am such an _old_ man, I’m sure you’ll forgive me as I rest my ancient, weary bones while I leave the patrolling to younger, more energetic limbs,” Obi-Wan explained with an glib tone of not-entirely feigned fatigue as he approached the door to his assigned quarters.

Anakin crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes as he glowered at the Jedi Master.

“You don’t want to deal with Ambassador Yeetze.”

“I don’t want to deal with Ambassador Yeetze,” Obi-Wan concurred, looking over his shoulder to give his former apprentice a fully-realized grin. “Besides, you have… finesse when it comes to politicians. I have no doubt your charms will win him over in due time.”

“For a Jedi Master, you sure like to avoid confrontation,” Anakin murmured, returning none of Obi-Wan’s amusement as he opened the door.

“That’s the key to a long life, my friend. Avoid conflict wherever possible,” Obi-Wan quipped before closing the door with a press of a button, leaving Anakin to fluster in the corridor.

It wasn’t that he enjoyed vexing his former apprentice for the sake of seeing his irritation (though it could be highly amusing). Obi-Wan was genuinely tired. The war was never-ending, he rarely had a moment to breathe between missions, and any chance to catch a quick nap was always warranted – something Anakin had yet to learn, as full of energy as he still was.

“I’m not that old…” Obi-Wan griped to no one as he sat on the narrow, stiff bed, pulling off his boots as he scrutinized his quarters. Cramped, musty, and with dull lighting that strained the eyes. A far cry from his large, temporary chambers in Senator Munbu’s city estate, but at least it was private.

“Charming,” the Jedi Master remarked as he wiped dust that felt more like ash from the bed cover. “Definitely not on par with the senator’s expensive linens. He would be having kittens by the litter if he could see the state of this place.”

Casting his thoughts back to that fateful night, Obi-Wan felt a strange sensation, almost of familiarity. True, his current lodgings were nothing like those on Takobo, but something served as a reminder of his time on the planet. But… what was it?

In an act that felt entirely ridiculous, but necessary nonetheless, Obi-Wan got on his hands and knees and looked under the small bed. Of course, there was nothing there but alarmingly large dust balls that appeared as if they could take on a life of their own at any moment.

“No krayt dragons there,” the Jedi lightly joked, voice a little too strained for his liking. Obviously, no one was onboard who shouldn’t be. Anakin had searched the ship, and no one was even aware of their presence onboard the merchant vessel besides captain and crew. Obi-Wan was jumping at shadows, still unnerved by his last excursion away from the Jedi Temple.

Pushing all unpleasant thoughts from his mind, Obi-Wan made do with the stiff bed, lying down fully robed as he tossed aside the lumpy pillow. Obi-Wan had stayed in enough suspect places to learn the hard way how many microscopic creatures could occupy one simple cushion.

Obi-Wan placed his arm across his eyes to block out the dull interior lights, planning to take a short nap before rejoining Anakin, but he was fast asleep before he could complete the thought.

 

* * *

 

The Jedi stirred at the sound of the doors to his quarters whooshing open and shut. Obi-Wan mumbled something unintelligently, on his side facing away from the door. He had no idea how much time had passed, but his body was heavy with sleep.

“What is it, Anakin?” Obi-Wan tried again, managing to form the words in a coherent sentence. “Yeetze being a handful?”

“Deh Ambassador is tucked away safe ‘n sound, Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes flew open and his body instantly came awake, as if a live wire had been jammed into his spine, and he was standing on the bed with his ignited lightsaber in hand before the bounty hunter had stopped speaking.

“You have an unfortunate habit of barging into other people’s rooms,” Obi-Wan rasped hoarsely, his sleep-laden voice ruining the authority he was trying to project.

“Can’t yer old pal Bane drop by for a visit?” Bane mused smoothly, reaching up to tip the end of his flat cap toward the Jedi. His attire was the grey-and-blue uniform the crew wore, and though his gangly limbs were completely covered, he seemed almost naked without his signature wide-brim hat, wrist gauntlets, and rocket boots.

“We’re not _pals_ , Bane,” the Jedi interjected harshly, instantly regretting his words and tone of voice as Bane’s eyes slightly widened. But his crimson orbs quickly narrowed and his lip curled. Even as he put on his mask of cold ruthlessness, Obi-Wan could feel Bane’s upset beneath, as if the Jedi had reached out and slapped him.

_Well, this is going splendidly so far._

“Bane, look, you shouldn’t be here. There is a-” The Jedi stopped speaking as it finally clicked in his head. “You’re the assassin!”

“What did you think I was here for, Jedi? To see yer ugly mug?” Bane wrinkled his lips and bared his fangs unpleasantly. “Put deh lightsaber away, Kenobi. It won’t do you any good.”

“I’m afraid I’ll have to disagree,” Obi-Wan snapped in annoyance. What was Bane planning _this_ time? Why had he foolishly sought out the Jedi when he was tasked with political assassination? “You do realize your plan failed as soon as you stepped through the door. I won’t let you leave it unless it’s in binders.”

“As tempting as dhat sounds, I doubt it’s goin’ to play out dhat way. You see,” Bane interjected with a smirk, pulling a datapad from his back-pocket and pointing at it with one of his long, blue fingers. “I placed gas dispensers all around deh good Ambassador’s room.” A grin spread across Bane’s lips at the expression on Obi-Wan’s face. “If I press dhis button, deadly florin gas will fill deh room, killin’ yer charge.” Bane pointed to another button, growling, “And in case you get any bright ideas, gas will also flood Yeetze’s quarters if I don’t send an encrypted signal in three minutes.”

Obi-Wan glared angrily at the bounty hunter, but he could see no way to circumvent Bane’s thorough precautions. He might be able to grab the datapad before the bounty hunter sent the signal. But could he subdue Bane – a skilled fighter whose entire arsenal revolved around besting Jedi – and reach the Ambassador before the gas was dispersed?

The Jedi Master extinguished his lightsaber. The risk to Yeetze’s life was too great. It was obvious Bane wanted something – otherwise he would simply kill the Ambassador and be done with it. There was a chance the outcome could be tilted in the Jedi’s favor, but Obi-Wan had a distinct feeling he was going to intensely dislike whatever the bounty hunter was playing at.

Bane’s grin was full of smugness and he practically cooed, “Dhat’s a good Jedi. Put away yer little toy and we can discuss dhis like two civilized gentlemen.” His smile was all too knowing. Having Obi-Wan’s words from that night on Takobo thrown back at him was unpalatable, to say the least.

“What do you want, Bane?” the Jedi Master voiced tiredly, feeling as if he was aging by the minute. Why did things like this always happen to him? Why didn’t they happen to Anakin or Master Windu? Even Master Unduli and Master Fisto didn’t find themselves in these ridiculous situations, haunted by a gangly shadow that would not let him be.

“Hmmmm. Dhat’s the crux of deh issue, innit? What can you offer in exchange for Yeetze’s life?” Bane wondered aloud as he inspected his curled finger.

“Is this… a negotiation?” Obi-Wan inquired with raised eyebrows. That sense of familiarity grew – this was not the first time Bane had put the Jedi on the spot, applying pressure to him for an unseen reason.

“You could call it dhat,” Bane drawled pleasantly. “Unless you have fifty-thousand credits hidden in dhat robe somewhere,” Bane continued with a suggestive smirk, “we got some bargaining to do.”

“I’m afraid I gave the last of my credits to a spindly blue fellow I had hoped to never see again,” Obi-Wan remarked dryly.

“Sounds rough,” the Duros quipped with dripping sarcasm. “What else you got, Kenobi?” the bounty hunter inquired as he crossed his arms across his narrow chest, his tone playful as he showed his sharp teeth. “Two minutes. Clock’s tickin’.”

“Let me guess,” Obi-Wan began, his eyes narrowed as he glared at the irritating bounty hunter. “You want another pardon from the Chancellor. Probably for a client, seeing as you almost always work alone and you don’t have anyone that even remotely resembles a friend.”

“Are you always this bitchy after a nap, Kenobi?” Bane growled, crimson eyes eerily bright in the dim glow.

“Only when I’m awoken by ill-mannered bounty hunters making vague demands.” Obi-Wan took a deep breath, briefly closing his eyes as he forced his nerves to settle. He was acting not like himself, something that tended to happen when he was around this particular mercenary.

“Just tell me why you’re here. It’s clear you want something specific, though what it could be I cannot fathom.” What benefit could be gained from trying to extort the Jedi? Obi-Wan didn’t have credits or items of value. Perhaps the bounty hunter wanted to use his seat on the Jedi Council to his advantage? But how would that-

“Can’t you?” Bane asked in a low voice, the teasing quality absent as the grin faded from his face. “You can’t think of a single ting I could want from you?”

A strange feeling began to grow in Obi-Wan’s stomach, as if he were standing on the edge of a precipice, looking down into its dark, fathomless depths. The bounty hunter’s serious tone was far more alarming than his mischievous one. “No. I haven’t a clue.”

“Use yer imagination, Jedi. If you don’t got the coin, what else can you offer me to keep my finger off deh trigger?” Bane said with a curl of his lip, a blue finger pointing to the datapad in his hand. Obi-Wan’s forehead crinkled between his eyebrows as he felt the discomfort tighten in his gut.

“Loth-cat got yer tongue, Kenobi?” The words were playful but his timbre was not. The bounty hunter was still watching the Jedi with an intense carefulness. “Thirty seconds.”

“You’ve gone mad,” Obi-Wan knew what a flustered mess he was becoming as his words faltered, but his ability to speak eloquently had completely fled him. “Are you… are you suggesting…”

Bane raised an eyeridge as he commented, “Suggestin’ what? Why are you flounderin’, Kenobi?”

“I am not floundering.” Obi-Wan’s vexation only grew more as heat filled his cheeks, which drew a grin from Bane and made the Jedi Master consider the benefits of falling upon his own lightsaber.

Bane looked down at the datapad and commented in a conversational tone, “Ten seconds.”

“Be reasonable, Bane,” Obi-Wan pleaded, his eyes desperately searching Bane’s for any sign of compassion as time ran out. There was none to be found.

“Five seconds.”

“All right!” Obi-Wan’s panic got the best of him as he shouted. “Whatever you want, Bane! I’ll give you whatever you want. Just don’t…” The Jedi watched in horror as the bounty hunter’s pull finger remained poised above the button.

“Anything, Kenobi?”

“Yes, anything!” Obi-Wan’s voice cracked as he begged in complete desperation.

“Dhis fella must be really important,” Bane mocked as he pulled his bony fingers away from the datapad, pulling his arms back into a resting position across his chest, “for deh great Kenobi to offer me anyting I want.”

Obi-Wan simply stared at the bounty hunter as he tried to catch his breath, his hair falling onto his forehead. He couldn’t believe it. Bane hadn’t stopped the signal from being sent.

“But… why? I agreed to your terms. The Ambassador-”

“-Is fine,” Bane interrupted with a careless wave of his long-fingered hand. “I may have exaggerated when I said deh signal needs to be sent every three minutes. Take a breath, Kenobi. You look like yer about to faint.”

“You… lied to me,” Obi-Wan commented in a tone purposefully void of emotions as he attempted to slow his heartbeat. He wouldn’t give the Duros the satisfaction of knowing he had gotten under his skin.

“Don’t feel so nice, does it?” the bounty hunter responded as he stared at the Jedi from under the brim of his cap. “Puttin’ yer trust in someone only to have ‘em yank yer legs out from under you.”

“And I apologized for that, Bane. Did I not?” Obi-Wan pointed out as he watched Bane with wary annoyance as he ran a hand through his hair. Had Bane decided to return because he had deemed Obi-Wan’s attempts at making amends insufficient?

“Oh, you did, which I appreciate mightily. I just needed to make sure you were serious ‘bout savin’ yer politician,” Bane remarked before hooking the datapad onto his belt loop, out of reach but within sight as a constant reminder of the bounty hunter’s hold over Obi-Wan.

“Do you think this is some kind of game?” the Jedi asked incredulously. “Is this amusing to you?” The look on the Duros’ face indicated that, yes, he found it greatly enjoyable, and Obi-Wan sputtered, “Well… I am… not your _plaything_. You cannot interrupt my life whenever it pleases you just because of what happened… that night. It doesn’t mean…” _It doesn’t mean anything_ , Obi-Wan wanted to say, but it would have been a flat-out lie and the bounty hunter would have seen right through it.

“Doesn’t mean what? Dhat we shared some sort of profound moment? Dhat you let me go ‘cause yer sweet on me?” Bane’s amusement seemed to only grow as he mocked the Jedi. “Relax, Kenobi. I ain’t here to stake a claim on your maidenhood. Although,” the bounty hunter drawled. “If the idea of a rough ‘n tumble doesn’t tempt you, dhen you shouldn’t have a problem sayin’ so.”

Obi-Wan could only blink stupidly, wondering how things had escalated from the ridiculous into the insane. “That kind of statement doesn’t even warrant a response. It’s beyond absurd.” Despite his protests, Obi-Wan was aware of how unseemly warm his cheeks were. What was _wrong_ with him? He hadn’t acted so flustered since he’d been a young Padawan.

“Come now, Kenobi. Don’t deny you haven’ thought about it. Not even once?” Bane sneered as pushed off from the wall, no longer leaning against it as he took a step toward the Jedi. “All dhose times we butted heads? You were obsessed, and not by a sense of duty or justice. No, I think you were drive by a far more… baser emotions.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Bane. You were a considerable threat to the Republic… and still are,” Obi-Wan added, causing the Duros to raise his brow in amusement. “It is the workings of an obscene mind that would believe anything else.”

“Obscene, eh?” Bane asked with a tilt of his head, taking another step closer as he dragged his crimson eyes slowly down the Jedi’s body. “Maybe dhat’s exactly why yer so keen on me.” Bane looked up into Obi-Wan’s face after they had completed their examination, making the Jedi feel as if he were under a sharp-toothed microscope.

“Dhat’s why you got off pretendin’ to be Hardeen,” Bane grinned while raising a blue finger, pressing it against Obi-Wan’s chest to drive him his point. “You liked bein’ crude and nasty. Takin’ whatever you wanted without askin’ permission. Cut loose from yer stuffy order, you tasted somethin’ you’d never had before. _Freedom.”_ Bane finished with a leering smirk that made Obi-Wan’s blood boil.

“You’re delusional if you think I _enjoyed_ being a lowlife criminal,” the Jedi Master snapped while slapping aside Bane’s hand, which caused the bounty hunter to grin absolute smugness. “Marinating in the dredges of society is your pleasure – not mine.”

“Now yer getting the idea,” Bane teased mercilessly, his hot breath tickling Obi-Wan’s ear as he spoke near his shoulder, causing the Jedi to shiver. “But yer too proud to admit deh truth, even if I agree to be on my way if you say deh words. Ambassador unharmed.”

Obi-Wan waited, unaware that he was holding his breath. “That’s all you want? For me to confess to a lie?”

“It wouldn’ be no lie, Kenobi,” the Duros teased while walking in a circle around the Jedi, and Obi-Wan had to remind himself that he still had his lightsaber and the bounty hunter appeared to be unarmed. If Bane had wanted to physically harm him, he would have done so already.

It was a cold comfort, and he still felt as if the bounty hunter were sizing him up for dinner.

“Whatever gets your jollies off, Bane,” Obi-Wan replied stiffly, highly aware of how close the bounty hunter was every second. He could feel his breath on the back of his neck. “What do you want me to say?”

The bounty hunter didn’t respond at first, and the Jedi slightly turned his head to catch him in his peripheral vision. Bane took that moment to lean forward, his lips close to Obi-Wan’s ear as he instructed:

“I want you to admit dhat, despite yer saintly airs and yer righteous posturing, despite how many years you’ve learned to repress yer urges,” Obi-Wan shivered despite himself, hot breath warming his ear, as Bane finished with a growl, “you want, no, you _crave_ … Duros dick.”

Obi-Wan couldn’t speak. He couldn’t think. His face was frozen in a mask of shock. But Bane didn’t stop there to the Jedi’s absolute horror:

“You want to ride me like a speeder into deh sunset. You hunger for my long, nimble fingers to roam your body. You lust for-“

“Shut up, just – Shut. _Up!”_ Obi-Wan shoved away the bounty hunter – not hard enough to knock him to the ground, but forcing him to step back out of the Jedi’s personal space. “You… you… vile, unscrupulous, perverted and depraved-” Obi-Wan stuttered angrily, his hands clenched into fists at his side to keep from lashing out again. The Jedi’s outburst only fueled the bounty hunter’s amusement.

“You kiss yer mother with dhat mouth? I’m blushin’ green.” The Duros actually _chuckled_ ; an expression Obi-Wan couldn’t recall ever hearing come from the man. He didn’t seem the least perturbed that the Jedi had pushed him away. “You Jedi are wound too tight. I’ve met protocol droids less rigid dhan you, Kenobi.” Bane’s lip curled in a teasing manner as he backed away, looked the Jedi up and down, and said, “You could use a good fuck.”

Obi-Wan’s lightsaber was alive in his hands as if by its own volition, and he had launched himself at the bounty hunter before he fully realized what he was doing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel I need to apologize for the ridiculous amount of self-indulgence that's about to occur.

Cad Bane slinked out of the way of the flashing blade with ease, and Obi-Wan ended up striking one of the light bars along the wall, showering his robes and hair in sparks. He ignored the burning points of light as he turned on Bane, who waited in the middle of the dimmed room with a finger edged near the button that would end Obi-Wan’s mission in failure.

The Jedi froze in his rather aggressive stance, the blue luminous lightsaber painting the room with an eerie cobalt hue which glittered within crimson orbs.

“I’ll give you dhat one for free, Kenobi,” the Duros explained with surprising calmness, contrasted sharply with Obi-Wan’s shaky breaths and scowling glare. “But try somethin’ dhat stupid again, and I’ll happily suffocate yer emissary in poison. Fifty-thousand credits ain’t nothin’ to sneeze at, and I get paid whether or not you throw me in jail.”

It took several long, tense seconds, but Obi-Wan finally extinguished his blade – the allure of striking at the impertinent Duros too great. He couldn’t remember feeling this angry in years, and it actually concerned him. Where was all this rage coming from? Bane was a foul-mouthed, shameless _ass_ , but that didn’t warrant such a strong response from the Jedi. He needed to regain his composure and remember his training; insofar that it covered lewd bounty hunters.

“Now why don’t you hand me dhat lightsaber for… safekeeping,” Bane continued in a conversational tone, as if Obi-Wan had not just lashed out like an ornery bantha. “Spare you the temptation of using it again.”

“Not on your life.”

“Dhat’s true. My life ain’t deh one hangin’ by a thread.”

Obi-Wan sent the Duros his most smoldering glare before retreated back toward the bed. He opened the draw to the small, metal stand next to it, and deposited his lightsaber inside without ever removing his eyes from Bane’s.

“Good pup,” Bane remarked smoothly, causing Obi-Wan to grind his teeth. “Now back to more pleasant matters…” the Duros hissed with a sinister smile, his next words causing Obi-Wan to feel as if his heart had plunged into his stomach. “You said I could have anythin’ my shriveled lil’ heart desired,” Bane teased coyly, his fangs glistening in the dim light. “And now you know my terms.”

“I was under extreme duress. You can’t expect me to… to say…” Obi-Wan stuttered with growing horror as he realized Bane was genuinely serious about what he wanted the Jedi to confess.

“Expect you to say what, Kenobi?” Bane intoned darkly, his inappropriate playfulness disappearing as quickly as his grin. “Spit it out.”

“What could you possibly gain from this ridiculous notion?” Obi-Wan questioned in exasperation, trying to stall for time. _Think, Kenobi, think! Surely there’s more to the situation than Bane being so bored as to decide to stowaway simply to embarrass you to death. Think!_

“You let me worry about dhat, Jedi. I gave you an easy out,” Bane added smugly, his crimson eyes full of wickedness. “Take it while I’m still feelin’ generous.” The bounty hunter’s smirk hinted at the double entendre, and all rational thought fled Obi-Wan’s state of mind as he saw red.

“I’d rather shag a _Wookiee_ ,” Obi-Wan seethed through his teeth, rage rearing its ugly head as his fists trembled against his legs. He could almost taste the emotion, sharpened and focused by the Force to make the air thrum angrily.

Bane strode across the tiny room with two long strides and grabbed Obi-Wan by the front of his robes, ignorant or uncaring as to how close Obi-Wan was to snapping as he shoved him against the wall between the door and dingy nightstand.

“Not deh words I want to hear, _Kenobi_ ,” Bane rumbled with heated animosity, his face mere inches from Obi-Wan’s as his lean body trapped him against the surface.

“Then I do not regret to inform you that you came all this way for nothing,” Obi-Wan remarked sarcastically, his nose crinkled as if he were an animal about to bite.

Bane snarled in response, showing his own jagged teeth. “Does your Ambassador’s life mean so little to you?”

“Bugger the Ambassador and _bugger_ _you!”_ Obi-Wan snapped hotly, slipping into the rude slang of his early childhood from his state of extreme agitation.

“Oh, I wish you would,” Bane seethed, and though the words were suggestive, his tone was filled with ire and venom, his fangs bared as Obi-Wan felt the waves of hot anger radiate from Bane’s mind.

It was more than Obi-Wan could take. He meant to violently lash out at the Duros. He meant to kick him, jab him, Force-throw him off and restrain him like the crude, brutish outlaw he was. End this foolish business once and for all, as he should have done from the beginning.

All of that was what Obi-Wan _intended_ to do. What he _actually_ did was grab the front of the bounty hunter’s jacket, yank him forward, and crush his lips against Bane’s in a gesture as urgent as it was angry.

Bane’s entire body went rigid. Every muscle, tendon, and sinew seemed to turn to stone, but Obi-Wan didn’t relent. Dissatisfied with merely pulling the bounty hunter into the hard kiss, Obi-Wan spun him around and slammed Bane against the wall. The Duros could barely expel a pained noise before Obi-Wan was on him again, holding him against the surface by the shoulders as he forced their mouths together with aggressive desperation.

The Jedi tasted Bane’s rough lips with his tongue before the scoundrel could interject. The Duros began to squirm under Obi-Wan’s grip, but he subdued the bounty hunter’s protests by trapping Bane between Obi-Wan’s pelvis and the wall.

Instead of cowing the bounty hunter into submission, the movement caused him to moan against Obi-Wan’s mouth. The reaction, simple but powerful, caused Obi-Wan’s semi-erection to become fully realized as he plunged his tongue into Bane’s mouth. He nearly cut himself on the Duros’ sharp fangs, but he didn’t care as he pressed his pelvis against Bane’s crotch, wanting him to feel the result of his infuriating taunting and teasing.

The Jedi expected the bounty hunter to reject this intrusion and shove him away. Instead, he felt Bane’s long, bony fingers wind and twist through his hair, encouraging Obi-Wan to indulge in the desires that were expressly forbidden to him.

Obi-Wan obliged, sliding his hands down the bounty hunter’s body to cusp around his ass, hoisting him upward and forcing Bane’s legs around his waist as Obi-Wan hungrily explored the Duros’ sharp mouth. Bane willingly participated in the Jedi’s lust-fueled actions, squeezing his legs and hooking his ankles behind the small of Obi-Wan’s back.

The Jedi Master laid his hands on the bounty hunter once again, impatiently unzipping his maintenance jacket as he ran his gloved hands up the tight shirt that covered the Duros’ chest, finally breaking the rough kiss as he latched himself onto Bane’s neck, drawing a low growl from his throat.

The faint smell of fuel from Bane’s stolen jacket did nothing to dissuade the Jedi from sucking the skin along Bane’s neck, his teeth grazing against the soft flesh as he attempted to roughly pull the jacket off Bane’s thin frame.

“Careful, Kenobi, yer gonna rip somethin’,” the Duros hissed as Obi-Wan pulled the garment free, and he returned his lips to Bane’s mouth in order to silence any complaints as he pulled off his own gauntlet and gloves, slipping his hands underneath the shirt that belonged to some poor sod on the crew.

This was the first time the Jedi had come into full contact with the bounty hunter’s bare flesh, and the sensation caused his blood to race and his nerves to tingle. Bane’s blue skin was cool to the touch but incredibly smooth and hairless, Obi-Wan’s fingers able to easily trace the muscles along his abdomen and chest. Simply being able to touch another person in this way was exhilarating, but for it to be Cad Bane’s flesh he was discovering was almost enough to drive the Jedi mad.

Bane’s breath hitched unevenly as Obi-Wan outlined the curves and dimples across his stomach as his hands traveled upwards. He separated their lips only long enough to pull the Duros’ undershirt over his head, returning to taste Bane’s mouth with his tongue as he continued to explore the bounty hunter’s body – as if his hands alone could claim this strange territory by right.

The pressure on Obi-Wan’s pelvis from supporting Bane’s weight was not enough for what he wanted, and Bane must have felt something similar as he was now tugging at the opening to Obi-Wan’s robes with growing frustration – the layers upon layers of cloth hindering any real progress.

Obi-Wan pulled Bane away from the wall and carried him over to the small bed, depositing him onto its surface before quickly unlatching and pulling free his belt, removing the sashes over his shoulders, the top layer of his robes, and his thick brown undershirt without taking his eyes from the Duros. Bane watched him in turn, his crimson eyes narrowed as he watched Obi-Wan undress. He could only describe the expression as unfiltered lust. No one had ever looked at Obi-Wan that way before – not even Satine during their fumbling encounter years ago that had resulted in little more than heated cuddling. The Jedi had nothing to compare that look to – an expression so hungry he felt his own blood race in response, as if the Duros would like nothing better than to gnash him between his pointed teeth.

Once the Jedi had disrobed and only his trousers remained, and before he could pay attention to the voice of reason that was beginning to make noise in the back of his mind, Obi-Wan lowered himself on top of the bounty hunter, pushing Bane’s legs apart with his knees as he slid between his long, gangly thighs. He did not place his full weight upon Bane, however, as he saw a look of unease flash across the Duros’ face.

Obi-Wan waited for Bane to speak, but he remained silent as he studied the Jedi’s face closely. Then his gaze wandered from Obi-Wan’s eyes to his lips, down to his throat and his collar bone. His eyes lowered to his chest, and Bane raised his hands to run his fingers across the Jedi’s chest.

As painfully aroused as he was, as much as he wanted to rip off the rest of Bane’s pilfered clothing, he waited patiently for the bounty hunter to indicate if he wanted Obi-Wan to continue or for him to stop.

The Jedi received his answer as Bane’s long fingers traveled down his chest to his stomach, not stopping there as his hand slipped underneath Obi-Wan’s waistband. He gasped as the bounty hunter’s fingers wrapped around him, his length fitting nicely within his palm as Bane gave him a squeeze.

The Duros’ other hand reached up to grip Obi-Wan’s hair as he hissed, “Don’t be gentle, _Kenobi._ I ain’t gonna break.” Obi-Wan was left no time to respond as Bane pulled him down, forcing his full weight to press onto the thin bounty hunter as his hand squeezed tighter, Obi-Wan unable to voice his heated moan fully as their lips collided. Even if he had been free to speak, intelligible words were beyond him as Bane began to stroke Obi-Wan in his long-fingered hands.

If Bane truly did not want Obi-Wan to be gentle with him, he was providing plenty of incentive for rough treatment. Obi-Wan had to break away from Bane’s lips for air as his body responded to Bane’s increased movements. He pressed his mouth against Bane’s neck, wanting to taste the bounty hunter’s skin as his hips began to grind against the Duros’ hand of their own volition, breath harsh in his throat as he mentally cursed Bane for being able to draw such a reaction so effortlessly.

Grinding against Bane’s hand, while very pleasurable, was still not enough to sate the fire in his veins. The Jedi reached down and unbuttoned the gray, standard-issue slacks Bane had stolen, too caught up in the moment to even consider that the previous owner might be dead – courtesy of the bounty hunter Obi-Wan was currently dry-humping.

The Jedi Master hesitated as his hand paused along Bane’s lower belly. His hips were so narrow that Obi-Wan could feel his prominent hip bones against his fingertips. His maddening desire had carried him this far, but he was unsure how to proceed in such unfamiliar territory.

Bane seemed to sense this; he removed his hand from around Obi-Wan’s heated erection (which was somehow both a relief and a disappointment). He ached for the Duros’ long fingers, but he knew if he kept up at the current pace he wouldn’t last much longer.

“C’mon Jedi, don’t get shy on me,” Bane teased in his deep, raspy voice, and Obi-Wan almost moaned. Hearing the bounty hunter’s voice so close to his ear, hot breath tickling his skin, made Obi-Wan want to do unspeakable things to him.

“I’m not,” Obi-Wan argued, his voice muffled against Bane’s neck as he slightly shifted his hips, leaving more room for his hand which had been trapped between them.

“Never been around a cock before, Kenobi? Need some pointers? Just pretend yer jerkin’ off yer own- _aah!”_ Bane gave a startled noise as Obi-Wan pulled open his slacks, wrapped his hand around the Duros’ shaft, and pulled him out in one fluid motion. Obi-Wan latched onto Bane’s throat again as he began to stroke Bane’s strangely ridged member, somewhat wishing he could see what it looked like, though that would have to wait. At the moment, he was enjoying causing the bounty hunter to squirm in his grip far too much. He didn’t have long fingers, but his hand was warm and firm around the surprisingly thick shaft. Obi-Wan wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but it hadn’t been this. Bane normally wore trousers so tight it left little to the imagination, and it forced the Jedi to wonder where he _kept_ it all.

Obi-Wan moved his pelvis further off Bane, straddling his thin leg and slightly rubbing his own still-clothed erection against the Duros’ hip as he explored the entirety of Bane’s genitalia. The shaft was wide but the head was surprisingly long and its base was more prominent than that of a human’s. As Obi-Wan’s hands briefly explored further downward to cup his balls, he discovered they were compact and close to the body while being cool to the touch.

Obi-Wan released his mouth from Bane’s neck and observed his face carefully as his hand returned to the Duros’ member, wanting to watch him as he began to stroke the shaft, harder and faster. The Jedi wondered just how sensitive he was, because Bane was immediately squirming under the Jedi, his long fingers curling around Obi-Wan’s biceps as he groaned deep in his throat, closing his eyes in an expression of unexpected pleasure.

As Bane’s groans grew more breathless and his hands around Obi-Wan’s arms grew tighter, he began to realize there might have been a very good reason the Jedi were discouraged from carnal acts. Obi-Wan could feel the waves of desire and lust from the bounty hunter, and it was positively intoxicating. Being able to feel not only one’s own pleasure, but the pleasure of their partner, would be beyond addicting.

And Obi-Wan could feel himself begin to drown in it. He needed more. He dragged his tongue along Bane’s exposed throat as the Duros continued to groan from Obi-Wan’s constant stroking, his own need to seek release overridden by his newfound desire to make the bounty hunter squirm and beg for more.

But Obi-Wan’s goal to make Bane pay for his earlier insolence in the most delicious way possible was interrupted as he heard Bane stammer, “K-Kenobi… wait…” The Jedi reluctantly stopped his movements; using every ounce of willpower he possessed to remove his hand from Bane’s slightly pulsating member. He lifted himself from Bane’s neck to look down at the Duros, his normally tame ginger-blonde locks falling into his face as he did so.

“Is something wrong?” Obi-Wan panted, wondering if Bane was regretting his decision to goad the Jedi into practically attacking him. But Bane was smiling, though something about the way his lips were tilted seemed… off.

“Not wrong, but if you keep goin’ at dhis rate, I’m gonna pop off. And as much as I would enjoy dhat, I know you wouldn’t forgive me if I ruined yer precious mission.”

Obi-Wan stared at him in complete incomprehension, unable to process the words when his mind and body were so consumed with the bounty hunter beneath him.

Bane sighed, as if he were speaking to a child, and explained, “Hand me my datapad Kenobi, or yer gonna have a real dead politician on yer hands in ‘bout thirty seconds.”

That got him moving. Obi-Wan practically leapt off of Bane and began to scour the floor for where the datapad had been dropped, as it was no longer attached to the Duros’ belt loop. The room, barely larger than a maintenance closet, made the search easy enough, and Obi-Wan was just grateful he hadn’t crushed it while manhandling the mercenary currently occupying his bed.

The Jedi handed the datapad to the bounty hunter, who was still lying on his back, propped up on his elbows as he observed Obi-Wan’s flustered movement. “Here,” Obi-Wan rasped, his lips feeling strangely swollen from their devoted attention to Bane’s neck and lips.

That simple observation hit him hard in the gut, and he fought to keep his face neutral as he felt sick an intense way. What was he _doing_? Had he completely lost all sensibility? He was on a mission to protect a person of interest for the Galactic Senate, and he was spending that time doing… what? Fondling and heavy petting the assassin sent to kill him?

As Bane focused on the datapad in his hands, Obi-Wan turned away and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to gain control of his strong self-revulsion in order to address the matter at hand. It did not help that his erection was still ridiculously hard, and he knew _that_ problem wouldn’t be resolved until he took care of it. Alone. Far away from the cursed bounty hunter who had somehow made him forget who he was and everything that he stood for.

“Bane…” Obi-Wan began to voice as he turned around, about to explain to the man how he needed to leave immediately or he would have him arrested at the _very_ least, but he stopped once he saw where the bounty was positioned.

“Yes, Kenobi?” Bane inquired in a low voice, his face poorly-feigning innocence. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, his face dangerously close to Obi-Wan’s crotch.

“I…” His ability to speak seemed to flee him as Obi-Wan stared down at the bounty hunter, mouth dry as a desert as he saw the hungry look in his eyes.

“Don’t worry, Kenobi. I disarmed the triggers. Yer ambassador is safe,” Bane commented smoothly, as if that were the Jedi’s top concern at the moment (which it really should have been). But Obi-Wan was too distracted realizing how delicious his name sounded on the Duros’ tongue. True, his name was often said with venom and malice, but that somehow that made it even more enticing.

“I’m grateful, for that. Truly. But you can’t… we can’t…” Obi-Wan stammered over his words as he tried to come to grips with all that was happening. Why would Bane disable the gas bombs? His leverage was completely gone. The Jedi could simply arrest him and be done with this whole complicated, messy business.

But he didn’t. And as Bane reached up and began to undo the fastenings to his trousers, Obi-Wan didn’t stop him. He was paralyzed by the knowledge of what he was _supposed_ to do colliding with the heady desire to melt in Bane’s hands. The latter won out as the bounty hunter took him within his long fingers, and Obi-Wan’s eyelids fluttered shut as he bit his lip sharply, repressing a moan before it could escape.

But he hadn’t given up quite yet, and gave another valiant effort to stop the madness:

“B-Bane, I don’t think-”

“Hush, Kenobi. I know what I’m doin’.” Before Obi-Wan could protest further, Bane opened his mouth and dragged his tongue along the underside of Obi-Wan’s cock, starting from the base of the shaft all the way to the tip of the head.

All reason fled his mind at that moment, and Obi-Wan groaned as the Duros didn’t stop there, cupping his balls with one hand and holding the base of his shaft firmly with the other, dragging his tongue along Obi-Wan’s engorged penis, his fangs dangerously close to the foreskin.

The sight of Bane’s sharp teeth did nothing to dampen his excitement – if anything it fueled his highly inappropriate desire for the Duros. He reached behind Bane and cradled the back of his neck, wanting desperately to push the rest of the way into the bounty hunter’s mouth, knowing he would be able to – not unless he wanted his member shredded to ribbons.

Obi-Wan soon learned that Bane didn’t need to fit the entirety of the Jedi into his mouth to achieve his goals. The bounty hunter, with one hand firmly around the base of Obi-Wan’s shaft, began to stroke it sensually, his saliva providing lubricant as he fit the tip into his mouth, just far enough to slip his tongue under the base of the head. Obi-Wan let out a very audible moan as Bane’s tongue did things to Obi-Wan he didn’t know was possible, his fingertips now digging into the skin of Bane’s smooth shoulders.

Looking down at the Duros, seeing him lapping at his engorged erection as if it were the most delectable dish he had ever tasted, drove Obi-Wan closer to the edge, and he made one last, desperate attempt before it was too late and a line was crossed that could never be uncrossed.

“Bane… I… can’t…” The bounty hunter stopped in mid-lick, staring up at Obi-Wan as if he wanted to eat him alive.

To the Jedi’s surprise, Bane released him and stood up, gripping Obi-Wan by the shoulders and switching positions so Obi-Wan now had his back to the bed.

“Have a seat, Kenobi,” the Duros ordered while pushing hard on Obi-Wan’s shoulders, shoving him down onto the edge of the bed. “You look a bit _peaky_.” And before the Jedi could object, Bane knelt on the floor and forced his way between his knees. The Duros gripped the base of his shaft and sucked with renewed vigor while Obi-Wan cursed loudly as his traitorous cock gave a noticeable twitch.

“Nnnn-gaaaah!” Obi-Wan squirmed under the Duros’ ministrations, feeling drops of precome squeezed and immediately licked up by the vulgar bounty hunter. Bane’s response was to grin around the head before placing a hand on Obi-Wan’s chest, shoving him down against the bed.

“Yer cock is mine, Kenobi,” the Duros growled, dragging his tongue along the underside as Obi-Wan gasped for air. “So lie back and shut up.”

Obi-Wan’s only response was to moan while arching his back, his hands gripping the thin sheets as Bane continued to squeeze and stroke his cock with his hands while he sucked and licked the head. He struggled and fought against the impending orgasm, despite the futility of the act. Bane’s lips and hands felt so wonderful they didn’t seem real, and the impossibility of the situation made it that much more fantastic.

“Bane… _Bane_ I’m… going to… you have to stop… or I’mmmnnnhhhahh!” Obi-Wan choked out a cry as Bane only sucked and stroked _harder_ , causing his hot cock to spasm as tears stung his eyes from the sheer pleasure evoked by the those simple movements. He’d never felt such a loss of control of his own body as he neared his inevitable climax.

At the moment he peaked, the moment his cock seized hard and burst at the tip, he cried out the bounty’s name, strained with need and desire as pleasure crashed through him in waves. He should have been horrified; should have been ashamed and disgusted with mental self-flagellation. Instead, he gripped the sheets tightly and moaned for Bane by name, noting somewhere in the back of his mind that the Duros hadn’t pulled away, and had instead latched on the head of his cock – milking him for all he was worth and drinking every last drop of liquid that spilled from his twitching member.

Obi-Wan could only lie on the bed, panting while trying to catch his breath and calm his body, flinching and groaning when Bane gave him little licks along his sensitive cock. He couldn’t remember having an orgasm that intense before, though that wasn’t too surprising. His rare orgasms were of the self-inflicting variety and he viewed their arrival as more of a chore than a pleasurable activity.

But what Bane had just done… Obi-Wan had never experienced fellatio before, but he decided he liked it very much. _Or perhaps you enjoyed it so much because of who was performing it,_ an insidious little voice inside his head said. _Perhaps he was right about you._

Obi-Wan pushed aside the doubts and shame, actually impatient with them, and reached for Bane. But he was no longer there.

Blinking stupidly, his limbs heavy with a dull pleasure that covered him like a thick blanket, he looked down and saw that Bane had zipped up the Jedi’s trousers and was already putting on his own clothing as casually as if nothing had occurred – certainly not the most mind-blowing orgasm Obi-Wan had ever experienced.

“Bane?” the Jedi asked, unable to think of anything else to say. “What are you doing?”

“What’s it look like, Kenobi?” the Duros scoffed, tucking his shirt into his pants. “Don’t tell me you want a postcoital cuddle?” The sneer on Bane’s face should have angered the Jedi, but all he could feel was a confusing mixture of longing and annoyance.

“I… what? No. I mean… not to say, that would be unpleasant.” Obi-Wan pulled himself into a sitting position, hoping his hot blush would be hidden by his beard and disheveled hair. “I mean… you haven’t… you’re not…”

Bane paused in pulling on his stolen jacket, the expression on his face unreadable. The Jedi couldn’t even decipher his emotions – not without delving into his mind, which is something Obi-Wan was not about to do. The gesture would have felt wrong and invasive, despite the intimate setting a moment ago.

Then the expression was gone to be replaced by a sarcastic smirk. “How touching. I appreciate you wantin’ to reciprocate, but I got somewhere to be dhat ain’t here.”

Obi-Wan blinked once again, but he didn’t care how foolish he sounded as he asked, “Where? Where else could you possibly need to be?”

“None of yer business, dhat’s where,” Bane responded simply, and Obi-Wan was on his feet and in the Duros’ face in one smooth, quick motion.

“That’s _not_ how this works, Bane,” Obi-Wan nearly growled, causing the bounty hunter to widen his eyes in surprise. “You can’t just…” Obi-Wan took a deep breath, forcing himself to say the words because they were too important to mince with childish embarrassment. “You can’t barge your way into my life, take me in your mouth until I orgasm so hard I think I’m going to black out, and then just up and _leave!”_

Bane just stared at him, mouth slightly agape, and it was difficult to tell who was more astounded by the Jedi’s words. Then Bane reached forward, cupping the back of the Jedi’s neck to pull him close until their mouths met, his lips locking perfectly against Obi-Wan’s mouth. There was a new taste there, one salty but not unpleasant, and he realized he was tasting _himself_ on Bane’s tongue. The realization made him hard again almost instantly, causing him to groan against the bounty hunter’s mouth.

Bane broke the kiss first, his breath a little harder than before, and he said in a low, guttural voice as he peered up into Obi-Wan’s face:

“Dhat’s _exactly_ what I’m gonna do.”

Something sharp bit the back of Obi-Wan’s neck, underneath Bane’s hand, and the Jedi’s eyes widened as he felt a familiar numbing sensation spreading across his neck and shoulders. He couldn’t even cry out, his jaw locked in place as he was forced to endure in silence as the serum quickly deadened his nerves and muscles.

_Oh, you have got to be kidding me!_ Obi-Wan internally raged.

But to Obi-Wan’s surprise, Bane didn’t pull away. “Easy there, Kenobi,” the bounty hunter said with uncharacteristic gentleness as he grabbed the Jedi in his wiry arms so he didn’t collapse, guiding him gently back onto the bed instead. “Can’t have you chasin’ after me now, can I?”

Obi-Wan was completely helpless as he glared up at the Duros – feeling more betrayed than he should have, considering who the betrayer was.

“You knew what I am,” the bounty hunter accused softly, as if he could read Obi-Wan’s thoughts. His crimson eyes held onto the Jedi’s blue ones, but he soon looked away as he said, “You got only yerself to blame when you see storm clouds on the horizon and expect nothin’ but sunshine.”

And with those parting words, Obi-Wan’s vision faded into darkness, his mind already gone before the bounty hunter left with a quiet _whoosh-whoosh_ of the door.

 

* * *

 

“Obi-Wan?! _Obi-Wan!”_

Somewhere distant and fuzzy, the Jedi Master could feel a pair of hands shaking him by the shoulders. He thought it was his former Padawan, but he couldn’t be sure. His mind felt mushy and his limbs wouldn’t work, and he just wanted to lie there some more and sleep. Why did everyone have to wake him up when he finally managed to get some rest?

“Obi-Wan!”

Why was Anakin in such a fluster? He could hear the panic in his voice, but Obi-Wan just really, really didn’t want to wake up. He’d had the oddest dream-

_Slap!_

“Anakin! What the hell-“ Obi-Wan groggily complained as he rubbed his stinging cheek.

“Obi-Wan?!” His panicky Padawan’s face slowly came into view as Obi-Wan blinked sluggishly. “Master! What’s wrong with you?!”

“I’m fine, Anakin,” Obi-Wan assured him without having any real idea if this was true, slowly sitting up with the help of the younger Jedi. It was only then that he realized he felt a bit exposed. Glancing down at his body, he did a double-take when he realized he was only half-clothed. “Where are my robes?”

Anakin frowned at the question. “On the floor, Master,” his former Padawan responded with a raised eyebrow and – bless his soul – he was too flustered to inquire as to why his former master had decided to sleep half-nude. Or to notice Obi-Wan’s growing unease. Normally, Obi-Wan would have chided the Knight for being so unobservant, but now he was selfishly grateful for it.

“Get dressed, Master,” Anakin told him sternly him once he was satisfied his old master really was all right, picking up Obi-Wan’s robes and tossing them his way. The Jedi caught them (barely) and asked with a befuddled:

“Why? Is something amiss?”

“Uh, yeah,” Anakin acknowledged with a strong air of impatience. “You could say that.”

“Oh, no,” Obi-Wan moaned as it all came crashing back. “The Ambassador. It’s the Ambassador, isn’t it?”

Anakin again raised an eyebrow and replied, “The Ambassador is fine, if a little crabby we dropped out of hyperspace ahead of schedule.”

“We… what? Anakin,” Obi-Wan sighed as he stood, pulling on his robes as he tried very hard not to think about why they had been removed to begin with. “Tell me what happened. _Now.”_

Anakin huffed impatiently and said, “Someone hacked into the Delano’s navicomputer, pulled us into realspace, opened the cargo bay doors, and released half the supplies into space.”

Obi-Wan could only stare at his old Padawan, mouth agape. “What?” and then a belated, _“Who?”_

Anakin’s expression darkened at the question, and he growled, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me,” Obi-Wan said in a flat voice, knowing exactly who the responsible party was as he felt his heart sink in his chest.

_“Cad Bane,”_ Anakin said with a level of animosity that Obi-Wan could sympathize with, considering the Duros had drugged him _again_. What had led to the drugging was something Obi-Wan pushed as far from his mind as humanly possible.

“The bounty hunter got on the ship somehow, ejected most of the goods, and made off with one crate in particular using a ship that was waiting for us to drop out of hyperspace.”

“Marvelous,” Obi-Wan remarked with dripping sarcasm, his tone sharp as his mind tried to display memories of said bounty hunter’s mouth on various parts of his body. He knew he should have been absolutely livid for what Bane had done (and he was), but that anger was tainted by confusing flashes of yearning and hurt.

_Anakin would perish from shock if he knew what his master had been doing with the most villainous bounty hunter in the galaxy,_ Obi-Wan thought while trying not to laugh. Or cry. The Jedi Master hadn’t decided which was more appropriate as he pushed down the hysteria that threatened to overwhelm him in that moment.

“Oh, it gets better,” Anakin retorted hotly as he opened the door to Obi-Wan’s quarters, indicating his old master should follow (which he did, after covertly grabbing his lightsaber hilt from within the depths of the nightstand. No need for his former Padawan to wonder about _that_ particular curiosity).

“Does it now? Wonderful.” Obi-Wan walked beside his Padawan as a nervous whirlpool began to swirl in his stomach. Did they know? They couldn’t possibly know. Could they? Surely not. Bane would have little to gain from parading about the ship while proclaiming his sordid exploits with the Jedi Master to all who would listen. Obi-Wan could count on Bane’s self-preservation for discretion, if nothing else.

Thank the Maker his old Padawan was too embroiled in his own emotions to notice how uncharacteristically anxious and on edge his master was becoming with each passing moment. That was Obi-Wan’s only comfort as his stomach mutinously processed what his mind would not.

“In here, Master,” Anakin instructed, leading Obi-Wan to the bridge of the ship where, surprisingly, the captain was being detained with his wrists in binders and a sour look on his face.

“What’s this?” Obi-Wan inquired with a deep frown, shoving aside his tumultuous thoughts with logic and training. His secret had not yet been exposed. There was no reason to succumb to panic and bail out of the nearest airlock just yet.

“Turns out,” Anakin began with arms crossed, scowling down at the Rodian captain, “the Delano isn’t only a merchant ship – it’s a smuggling vessel. For illegally acquired items from archaeological excavation sites.”

Obi-Wan’s eyebrows creased in confusion. Why would Bane have passed on assassinating the Ambassador in favor of stealing some dusty artifacts? It didn’t make any sense.

“What was in the crate?” Obi-Wan spoke the words slowly as the sinking feeling in his stomach grew more intense. Bane wasn’t the type to steal trinkets or knick-knacks, especially with the time and effort it must have taken to pull off this latest heist. He was missing something crucial, just out of reach of his consciousness.

Oh yes, Obi-Wan had a very bad feeling about this.

“Not entirely sure,” Anakin confessed, turning to Obi-Wan after giving the captain a heated glare that would ordinarily draw a frown from his old master if he wasn’t so embroiled in his own problems. “The crew didn’t log any details for obvious reasons. What we _do_ know is that it came from an old Sith Temple on Moraband.”

Without a word, Obi-Wan turned and exited the bridge. He purposefully strode down the various corridors; not stopping despite Anakin’s confused shouts of, “Master! Wait! Where are you going!?”

Obi-Wan didn’t pause until he reached Ambassador Yeetze’s quarters, opening the door unannounced and bypassing the bluish, long-eared man as he yelped in surprise.

“Master Kenobi! Do they not teach manners at that temple of yours?” the Ambassador voiced scandalously, and the Jedi Master completely ignored the emissary’s presence as hot anger and cold dread fought for dominance in his chest. Obi-Wan began first with the air vents, then near the floorboards, and finally tossing aside the politician’s belongings as he searched the room top to bottom.

His former Padawan had given up trying to attract his old master’s attention, knowing it was easier to wait until Obi-Wan was finished when he was laser-focused on a task. Finally, the older Jedi came to a full stop, his breathing lightly strained as he looked around the tousled room.

Nothing. There was nothing. No dispensers, no triggers, no gas-canisters.

The first thought to cross his mind: _That bastard wasn’t here for the Ambassador at all._

The second: _He played me like a kloo horn._

The third: _Bane is in danger._

It was one thing to steal priceless artifacts from a dig site – it was quite another to steal a relic of the ancient Sith Empire. Such items had immense power and could be quite dangerous to those in its care, even if the object in question is never touched.

It was also one thing to work for the Separatists as a gun-for-hire – but this was something entirely different. This was too reminiscent of the heist of the Jedi Temple and it spoke to far more sinister forces at work.

_Oh, Bane. What have you done this time?_

“Master?” The voice of his former Padawan, oddly soft, brought Obi-Wan back to reality with a cruel snap.

“We must alert the Council immediately,” Obi-Wan commanded, as if he hadn’t just torn apart the Ambassador’s quarters without warning or reason. “Bane could do irreparable damage if that cargo falls into the wrong hands.”

“I would say it’s already in the wrong hands, Master,” Anakin commented, causing Obi-Wan to inwardly wince. “You saw the damage he caused with the Jedi Holocron in his possession. Imagine what he could do with something from the Sith homeworld.”

“I’m more worried about whoever hired him,” Obi-Wan remarked as they exited the silent Ambassador’s quarters – the emissary apparently too stunned by recent developments to add his glib commentary.

“That would explain all the strange dust around the ship,” Obi-Wan pointed out, trying to focus on minute details and observations that were in the present in order to push out the mental flashes of crimson eyes and azure fingers. “Poor luck that we tried to smuggle the Ambassador while it was already smuggling illegal contraband.”

“I told you we should have gone with the corvette, Master,” Anakin smugly stated, but Obi-Wan didn’t respond. He was too preoccupied with berating himself to a much more severe degree and for an entirely different purpose.

_I’m such a fool,_ Obi-Wan repeated over and over. _Fool, fool, fool. You thought Bane had changed his mind of assassination in favor of seducing you? It was all misdirection. And you fell for it like a fumbling, randy Padawan._

“Bane will pay for what he’s done,” Anakin commented vehemently once they reached the bridge and waited for the Jedi Temple to answer their hail from the bridge of the _Delano_. “He’s not walking away. Not this time.”

“Agreed,” Obi-Wan added, though he suspected his old Padawan wanted to catch the bounty hunter for not quite the same reasons as Obi-Wan. Bane had _much_ to answer for, least of all why he decided to steal a Sith artifact.

One thing was certain – despite Bane’s greatest efforts to plunge himself into reckless danger and become entangled in the forces of the Dark side, Obi-Wan would be damned before he let the mercenary get himself killed.

He wasn’t letting Bane off that easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure who is more exasperated by Bane's antics - me or Obi-Wan. Probably Obi-Wan.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I've wanted to write this ever since I finished Mending, and I'm so sorry it took me such a long time to get around to it. Big shout-out to my beta reader CaptainMazzic who also has some fantastic Kenobane artwork. You can also find me on Tumblr as Wolveria if you ever want to keep up-to-date with my shenanigans (which include cheesy gifs and silly music videos of my own making).
> 
> Additional notes: The Sleight of Hand is also the name of Bane’s ship in Legends, and I found it too fun not to use. Apologies to anyone who was exposed to my smut through such nefarious means. *wink* 
> 
> Bane and Obi-Wan will return for Part Three, and may the Force be with you. Always.


End file.
